Amusing Ban Statement Revision

I have a short “ban statement” that I’d like re-worked today. The final text still needs to read like an official warning, yet carry a sly undercurrent that shows kids just how easily wording can mislead them... (Budget: $1500 - $3000 USD, Jobs: Content Development, Content Writing, Copywriting, Creative Writing, Editing, English Grammar, Proofreading, Research Writing)