Mikeismichael

Hi Harold, Mike here. You looked at my independent literary site (mikeismichael.com) a couple of weeks ago and left a solid diagnostic comment regarding our layout structure on my previous job posting. That immediately caught my attention, and I want to hire you directly to finish this house for good. The site foundation, my credit card cash register lines, and my premium member archive vaults are 1,000% safe, built, and secure. However, Astra theme's responsive mobile engine has an administrative layout lock on the homepage viewport that is completely blocking touch commands on phone glass. I am hiring you for a single, clean-sweep fixed-price work order to override these template blocks and lock in my exact visual vision. The Fixed Deliverables: 1. Mobile Touch Override: Eliminate Astra's invisible mobile header wrapper and mobile menu triggers entirely. The 6 top-row horizontal navigation text links (ABOUT, ABOUT REVISITED, OCEAN, FORUM, MEMBER LOGIN, JOIN US) must sit clean and be 100% active and responsive to thumb clicks across every mobile device on earth. 2. The Visual Front Porch Storefront: Force the base domain skin to solid deep pitch black, running our fixed desert landscape backdrop scene seamlessly behind the layout. 3. Teaser Text Injection: Weld my 7 custom prose teaser hooks (pasted below) into a native layout container where they hold completely static for 15 seconds before cleanly fading. 4. Drip Sequencer Verification: Verify that our sequential membership plugin correctly enforces our chronological drip campaign rules (delivering exactly 1 vignette per week to premium subscribers in precise sequence from Day 1, regardless of their calendar signup date). My Budget for this Fix: $100.00 (Fixed Price) Here are the 7 finalized, polished master teaser text lines to be injected directly into the homepage code: 1. IRISHMEN “My mother used to tell me, ‘God doesn’t give you any more than you can handle.’ God should have stopped Hal mid-air… you know… to recalculate.” 2. MY GUN HER FINGER “My friend Guy ran out of his apartment and jumped onto her back… she continued to run around in circles flailing her arms overhead while screaming, ‘Bah, bah, bah!’ He rode that tiny mute—with the electrified gray hair and bright apple-red lipstick—like a willing old bronco.” 3. GOD DAMN MESS “I’m not exactly sure what I was doing with it when I first looked down in surprise. Then there were times… I’d look at it, hesitate, and hold it out at arm’s length. What a God damn mess.” 4. MY MOTHER’S DREAM “If something can’t be returned, is it really a gift or a burden? It might have happened, but I don’t remember being asked if I wanted to come into this world. I was part of my mother’s dream. Whose dream were you?” 5. CONNECTED “I was floating high above a Little League baseball diamond. Below was a kid taking wild, awkward swings… I heard, ‘Steeerike three!’ Suddenly I found myself on the ground in front of the dugout. A faceless boy approached me with a bat in hand.” 6. HOURGLASS “So, what is more depressing: Putting your head up your ass and one day finding out your ass has an expiration date? Or would it be wiser to have a reminder that time is infinite, but your life is not?” 7. COUNT THE WAYS “We assume we are, at the very least, average when it comes to estimating the length of our lives. A guess taken with as much effort and seriousness as answering: ‘How many marbles do you think are in the jar?’” Let me know if you are ready to accept this contract and execute the lockout sweep today, and I will send over the direct Upwork milestone offer immediately. Best, Mike Hello Harold, The above was written by AI for me. It was AI that has gotten my ignorant ass this far along creating this site. It's an idea I never completely thought through. I didn't imagine it would get this crazy--shouldn't be surprised as I am. Technology in general: Not interested. Though I've gotten this far along with this amount of time, my main concern is this blog will have me running to someone often to fix "things." If that is in my future, I'd appreciate knowing, because I will pull it DOWN NOW. Otherwise, I'd sure like to see what was in my mind come to life and help people. AI did wonderfully, but hit a wall. And was wasting too much of my time circling! Here is the general vision as AI has attempted to describe. And excuse me for my ignorance: Opening site to find seven (they should not be numbered as AI put in its proposal) scrolling teasers fading in and out every 15 seconds. White text against a desert background I found fitting Mike is Michael's birth. The 6 navigations at the top active. (That is where AI died) Everything was in place and those 6 would not react!? If they did, I wouldn't be here right now. I could have lived without the desert background. The prose are complete and open to the public: ABOUT, ABOUT REVISITED, and OCEAN. Everything after this must be timed every seven days with a vignette behind a paid wall. No matter when they join, they all follow the same vignette pathway. There is no "open library." Right now I have only one vignette behind the paywall. Done to see if it was going to be a problem. As far as I know, it is not. I guess that is for the expert to report back to me. Hopefully between AI's proposal and my additional clarification / vision this all makes sense to you. I appreciated your input on my initial work request--it stuck out. I recalled weeks earlier hitting something twice and turns out I was right because you mentioned looking at something that was written down twice. You were correct. I'm not sure how this works if you do accept the job There was something about me handing you "keys." Let me know what you think. Appreciate it. P.S. If you believe sites need constant babysitting I'd like to know. I'd have no interest in "going there." Thanks for your time.